Letting it All Go
by Reiki Shutuagi
Summary: TALES OF THE ABYSS: Tsuioku no Jade - Somewhat of a Novelization of Chapter 4 - Normal T Rating - One Shot - Jade's POV  "But I... Didn't want it to change–..."


"Jade, it's too dangerous! If it fails, the Fonons will reverse flow and you yourself will..."

I ignored Jasper. I took my glasses off and said calmly, "Begin."

"Al... Alright..." Saphir started the machine up and I spread my arms out, awaiting what will happen.

I remembered everything. Every moment with the Professor. The person I was doing this, risking everything, to replicate, to have her back. Everything had changed since that incident. It was my fault, I want to reverse it. Everything in Keterburg, with Nephry, Peony, and Saphir. It could could only be complete with the Professor there.

The drifting snow. Falling slowly to the surface. Cold, soft as it seemed you couldn't even feel it as it touched you, with them standing there. It seemed I was only staring off into space.

If I didn't...

"Professor!" I heard Saphir shouting. "You did it, Jade! It's a success!"

_Jade_...

Did we create a monster?  
>A failure?<br>I only wanted to try again.  
>To have the Professor once more...<p>

"_**Life with extinguish."**_

I only thought of myself.

"_**Humans..."**_

I would never understand the meaning between life...

"_**Monsters..."**_

...or death. Nor the significance of life. I would never understand the ability to use the Seventh Fonon. Somethings remain as is, unable to be changed, no matter the interference.

"_**Everything is bound to die."**_

My eyes shot open. I started screaming as I clutched my chest with both hands.

_I failed... again._

"Jade?" I heard Saphir and Jasper shouting. I felt excruciating pain. I could hear myself now...

"The Fonons are flowing in reverse into Jade!" This was Jasper shouting. "We have to stop the device!"  
>"Right!" Saphir followed-up.<p>

Professor.

I could feel the blood exiting my mouth, my body

"_But well, Jade..."_

Professor...

"_It's precisely because there is a limit to life that people can change."_

**But I...**

I, slowly, lifted my hand into the air, covered in blood, dripping, dark red.

**Didn't want it to change–...**

Covered in blood. I could see myself now. Hand in the air, my arms, my face, my hair, my entire body, splattered with blood. I could see myself doing the same, smiling, bright eyes, everyone, Peony, Nephry, Saphir... The Professor... All of them smiling... I never wanted it to change... None of it. Could I have gone on with my life without killing the Professor? Without ever having to involve myself with the Seventh Fonon? Without having damaged all of us with her death? Myself... Saphir... Peony... Nephry... Professor Gelda Nebilim...

_I really have failed again, huh..._

I have hurt myself in the process this time.

Jasper was speaking to me as I stared at the ceiling of the room blankly as it snowed outside. I then heard loud footsteps and before I knew it, a fist to the side of my face.

Peony shouting at me as I looked away.

His voice lowered as I looked up at him, ignoring the pain as I had my _entire_ life.

"You can't run away from what you did. If, despite that, you still want to run away... At the very least... Let the Professor rest in peace."

I looked down and closed my eyes. I finally said, "...You're right. Perhaps it's already time..." For some reason, I could feel myself smiling slightly as the snow seemed to pause. "I put this to an end..."

Saphir clinging to me. I knew Jasper was there as Saphir was grabbing me, screaming.

"What do you mean 'discontinue the experiments'?... I won't acknowledge it! I'll continue the experiments, even if I have to do it alone!"

"I'll make you stop."

"No!"

"Ever since Professor Nebilim died, you've changed!"

Changed?

"You no longer truly smile, or truly get angry, or say what you truly feel! If the Professor comes back to life, you will return to how you were!"

"Saphir, I won't return to how I was." I looked down, eyes closed. "People change, that's all there is to it."

"In any case, I won't acknowledge it!"

"No matter what?"  
>"No matter what!"<p>

No matter what.

"–Is that right? Well, then... Goodbye, Saphir."

He let go of me, shaking, trembling. And then he ran off. I could hear Jasper's voice calling his name, he passed by him as Jasper walked up to me.

"Jade! Is it okay?"  
>"Leave him be. If I don't do that, that idiot won't understand."<p>

I kept a calm face, barely looking at Jasper with my hands in my pockets like always.

"...Not that I'm in any position to say that of others."

Jasper walked off. Probably to go see Saphir. I knew Saphir was going to keep trying to bring back Professor Nebilim. Even alone, he will try to bring her back. People change, that is all there is to it. Walking to separate paths, I will come across Saphir someday again. Though...

As Dist the Reaper?

Was not expecting that.

Years later, I will finally come across the failed experiment that is the monster, Professor Gelda Nebilim. The mistake that was created from what should have never been created in the first place. It all ties together. And to the creation of Luke fon Fabre, the replica of Asch the Bloody.

Fomicry.

_I will put an end to it. For the sake of the Professor. I will let her rest. Even if Saphir stands in my way._


End file.
